I look in the blog’s mirror and there, grinning like a Cheshire Cat, is ME! Yes! There is no escape from the ongoing Mad Hatter’s Tea Party that is my life. Not even in writing.
‘Off with her Head!’ screams the Queen of Hearts, as another version of Alicenora hoves into sight.
Look at my blog – and you will see…unadulterated Ali.
And, let’s face it, I am pretty lacking on the adulterated front. Whatever that might be! I love creating words. Adore twisting their scrawny necks until they conform to my inner range of meaning.
So, does my blog do what it says on the tiny ‘Drink me…’ label? Does it make me so big that I am crammed up against the walls, roof and fireplace of my soul? Or so minuscule that I am in imminent danger of falling through a crack in the psychic wainscoting?
I zoom from giant to pygmy several times each day, if truth be known.
But, let’s allow the camera to look at the precise details.
Many fellow bloggers have given their blogs the most wonderful and quirky names. I haven’t. It didn’t occur to me!
Most other WordPressers have made their blogs LOOK wonderful, with art work, photos, logos and other beautifying aids. I feel like a drab little mouse in comparison.
Right from the start, I have blogged as myself. Out and scared. Out and occasionally proud. So my blog’s name is also mine – though Alienora Judith Taylor was a bit long-winded, so I simplified it slightly.
I have long struggled with art and technology. Was, in fact, advised – ie told! – to give up Art, as a school subject, at the end of the third year (now called year 9) because I had all the ability of a septic tank. It subsequently took me twenty years to learn how to log on to a computer!
I envy you your free and easy manipulation of the Degree Level artistic spectrum of this site. But, I have to be realistic: getting the blog going in the first place was a major achievement for me – and I know my limits! Sistine Chapel type decorations?! You will not get them from me! Sorry, chaps!
My Theme (as I believe it is known by the Blogging Cognoscenti) is simple and evocative. Basically, I chose a picture which put me in mind of my spiritual home, Mid Wales – and which also reflected my earthy side and my love of water, hills, solitary nature. I am an Earth sign, Capricorn, and I am extremely down-to-earth, like to keep my feet on the ground – both literally and figuratively.
I have also made the decision not to use any form of make-up (as it were) because I cannot be doing with the fuss and bother, either on here or in real life!
This is what I have written on my blog page: ‘Creative, sensual and blunt writing from Ali’s pen…’
Yup! That’s me in a nut-shell!
I am creative. I do write about sexuality and sensuality. And I am extremely blunt at times. My preference, ironically, is for hand-writing; for this, I always use a fountain pen, and black ink.
Since I was eighteen, my five-syllabled moniker has been shortened to the rather more manageable and anonymous ‘Ali’. The advantage of this is that it could be short for ‘Alison,’ an altogether less embarrassing name.
In fact, when I was younger, I used to lie and pretend it WAS short for Alison!
Now I am fifty-five (and seven months), and, fully cognizant of the fact that I may not have it for many more years, am happy to possess such an unusual name.
It means ‘light’ (which I am not!) and Eleanor of Acquitaine, whose name was Anglicised, was actually called ‘Alienor’, which is the French version.
What you will find in my blog is lots of writing. And I mean LOTS! Nearly four hundred posts in fourteen months! Because, for me, that is the whole point of the exercise: WRITING.
I am prolific. I am an addictive personality, do things to extremes. Have been a smoker. Have been an over-regular pub-goer. Have over-eaten for much of my life.
My one constant, my longest love, has been words, the writing and the reading of them.
And I think that each of my blog posts reflects that love affair with language.
For me, writing is akin to breathing: I cannot survive without it.
But there is an unhealthy, neurotic side to all of this as well; I am only too well aware of that.
Part of the reason I blog so much is that I am TERRIFIED of being forgotten and replaced. I fear that, if I stop for one minute, I will be lost from mind and sight, will become a non person.
So, I am driven. Mad sometimes. To tears at other times. By this need to compete, to be up there, to be deemed worthy of notice, of attention, of love.
Therapy? Yes, of course. I freely admit it. I write my anxiety in here, my insecurity, my fears and sadness; I ‘talk’ in here more fluently than I ever have to most real people.
Dangerous? Possibly. Because I am so open, I could be abused, shouted at, hated, sent nasty comments.
But, it is a conscious choice, albeit driven by the train of subconscious need.
I was resolutely me as a teacher too – and that, on occasions, got me into trouble, provoked dislike.
But, thirty years on, I still bump into ex-pupils on a regular basis. And the vast majority of them greet me with genuine warmth and pleasure.
May that also be true of Ali’s blog!
What you see on here is what you get:
A flawed, but passionate, Ali.